Tuesday, February 22, 2011

I Miss You...Besties =(

Things aren't always go your way, like the way you wanted.  Friendship work better in two ways communication.  Understanding is besides the point, but ready to give in towards the friendship, is another point.  Somehow, the second point is rather the most difficult to deliver, even in a senior-like friendships.
 There's always cases which make the friendship ends simultaneously, and sometimes it leaves bad wounds on each other.  That shouldn't happened, but normally, it does happened.  Humans, no matter how young or old, age does not indicate how you handle a crisis.  Sometimes, a 17 year old can be more matured than a 34 year old in handling friendship crisis.

It's such a bitter experience when a friendship just ruined without us taking the effort to re-counter the problem.  Maybe, it's just ego or maybe, the other party waiting for the other party to make moves.  That's always happened and it's normal.  Why wait for other people to make a move, it's better you to re-amend on everything, and the friendship can be saved.

Ini adalah kisah seorang teman.  Persahabatannya terjalin lama, dari sejak mereka dari bangku sekolah sehingga masing-masing ke universiti, bekerjaya dan kemudian berkahwin.  Namun, hanya kerana sedikit perselisihan akibat mulut jahat orang lain yang menabur fitnah, persahabatan berbelas tahun hancur begitu sahaja.  Pihak satu lagi, ingin menyelesaikan masalah antara mereka, namun berbeza dengan pihak lagi satu yang lebih rela bermusuh.
It's a sad thing because, when we're good friends and sometimes we called ourselves brothers/sisters in friendship, we kinda will miss a lot of important events of each other.  Like, probably, your best friend's wedding, bundle of joy, kids birthdays and many more.  Those important events, although we're already have a family, kids etc, we're still besties.  And, we won't want to miss a thing, right?

You know, there's always space to mend things between u n your bestie/besties.  Sekiranya tiada, cari ruang dan peluang, kerana di dalam Islam dan agama lain juga ada menyebut, jangan putuskan tali silaturahim.  Friendships sometimes like family bonding, so it's like performing a sin when we actually break the bonding, purposely...so, why don't you make a move first and do one of this tips to amend friendship :
  • * If it's hard for you to talk to your bestie, try to send him/her a sms.  Maybe, a 'Hi' could be a great greet.  If he'she replied, then you start the sms by creating a simple conversation, don't straight jumping into a q&a situation.  Start with a good hello, and hopefully it will end with a lovely goodbyes.
  • * Everybody have a FB or Twitter account right?  So, try to leave a sweet PM or DM to your bestie.  Try something very short but meaningful, I don't mean, synical okay...=)
  • * Even between besties, we always have a centre person.  if you have tried both tips above and it doesn't work, try to communicate with a centre person, a person that both of you can trust.  We don't need any other back stabber to worsen the situation right? =)
  • * Probably, if your bestie doesn't responds to any of these tips, you can let him'her have their space and time to think about all this.  Tetapi, jangan senyap tanpa berita.  Sekiranya ada sebarang event, majlis dan keraian, you can always sms your bestie an invitation.  Indirectly, you're telling him/her that the friendship still remains although both of you is not in contact anymore.
And, there's a lot of other things that you can do.  Maybe you can just do a surprise "I'm sorry Dinner Invitation" as an effort that you really want this friendship to last.  It's all up to you, no matter how the reaction that your bestie gonna show, you just got to be patient.
Sabar adalah ibarat emas, sangat berharga.  Kesabaran kadang-kala boleh membawa keuntungan.  Namun, hidup ini kena ada effort, without it, any friendship, work, life are just a waste.


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